暗淡的空间

对自己好一点

2012-02-07T10:25:00.004+08:00

很多人都告诉我，要对自己好一点。。
同样的，我也告诉别人这句话。。。
我很恨我自己,每当有事情发生时，第一时间想的并不是自己。。
也许我该做个自私自利的人。。。
感情方面，我不是个敢爱的人。。。
对于选择未来，我一向来都听天由命，也许这种一个逃避的现象；
不是也许，的确是在逃避!
你恨我，是应该的，因为我这种人，不值得和不配拥有这种爱。
我真的很谢谢你，让我享受和拥有过我前所未有的爱。。。
我承认，我还是放不开，但是最后的疼爱是手放开，我会学习的。。。
我真的很期待，我们再次说话和谈笑的日子。。真的很期待~！

看到你的样子，我真的很心痛。。
我不曾看着笑篇，却流着悲伤的泪。。。
我伪装自己，就因为不要被你看到我的脆弱。
对于我自己的伪装，我真的觉得很恶心，我真的讨厌我自己！

放弃=成全？

2012-02-06T10:12:00.002+08:00

第一次有个人可以很清楚地知道我要的是什么。
从以前到现在,很多人都说：“如果你没说，我怎么知道你要的是什么？我又不是你肚子里的虫!”
我现在可以证实,这句话是错的！
在他面前，我可以变得很透明....是件好事，也可以是件可怕的事。
让别人看穿,但又不能在那人面前坦白...真得很可怕~
放弃，就是你的成全吗？
但如果没放弃，以你的了解,你知道你做不了什么...
如果你知道我想些什么，那么你知道我看到你这样我真的很心痛吗？
还是你知道我心痛，却偏偏还这么做？
细心，关心，是你给我的感觉...
你说的对，我对你的感觉越来越强烈...所以我常说反话。
就因为这样，我怕我越陷越深。
放弃真的是最好的成全吗？
我真的以后不会后悔吗？

矛盾的心情

2012-01-29T16:30:00.002+08:00

我有着矛盾的心情。。。
有人说：“爱情不可以做比较..”
其实说的一点也没错, 因为人不是十全十美的~
我看不到我的未来有多幸福... 但是我知道他只忠于我一个;
这样，够吗？
现在对我好的那一个，可以保证以后都是一样吗？
没有人能对未来些包单，包括你和我~！
至于感觉，和他在一起确实是由某种的安全感，是家里给不到的~
怎么办？要为感觉而勇于面对吗？

新的一年~新的希望

2012-01-01T09:01:00.002+08:00

今天是2012年的第一天，我真得很希望一切都能够顺顺利利的.

昨天：
"为什么别人可以把我当宝,你却把我当草？"
"为什么你可以对我大声呼喊？"
"认识我七年的你，尽然要我改变？"
=好久没哭的我，昨天终于放声大哭！=
=好久没想家的我，昨天特别想家~=

昨天发生的事就别再去想了...
这并不是在逃避问题,这其实是多一事不如少一事......

新年的第一天，受到很感动的信息~虽然不知道那承诺可以维持多久,但它会一直在我脑海里！
内容，只有我知道~！

今年:
已经为人妻的我，别无所求，只是要求我夫对我关心，呵护......
我会遵守我的承诺，不会逼你去你不想去的聚会;同时，你也不可阻止我去任何的聚会...
我希望我的事业更上一层楼...
顺顺利利完成我的婚礼~

Emo - ing

2011-12-20T10:57:00.002+08:00

在这世上,有三种我无法招架的人...那就是:关心我的人,疼我的人,迁就我的人...
看似简单~其实复杂...因为没人能做到一辈子那样对我~
我喜欢被人捧在手心的感觉...
那是多么的幸福~
应该是每个女孩都喜欢这样...
第一次，他握着我的手,轻轻的抚摸~好久没有的感觉...
如果可以这样一辈子就好了...
我觉得我有点患上婚姻恐惧症~想太多了吧?

Am I that Lucky?

2011-12-18T14:40:00.002+08:00

I keep asking myself.. am i that "lucky"?
I can feel how pain it was for those peoples outside.
Should I or should i not invite them?
Should I or should i not go away ?
I think i will pass this to fate..
Fate will decide what they want me to do
I am not running away from the fact..
But I just do not know what to do next..
All i know is, all these should be d end..

Getting Closer and Closer

2011-12-06T14:40:00.002+08:00

10 more days to go...
Am I really ready for it?
God has sent me lots of testing~
What does HE trying to hint?
1 after another, sending someone that cares.
I saw a quote in FB...
Something about treasure the things you have and stop wanting the things that you dont have.
Friends asked me if I am ready..
lol~ how funny. Colleagues think that I am still young.
He will be the 1... Of course.
Looking at myself, dress ready shoes ready flowers ready..
Just be the happiest bride in the world. ^^

ROM Preparation

2011-10-22T11:21:00.002+08:00

Finally went to JPN in Putrajaya to choose a date. All went well and smooth. Initially thought it could be a long process, long distances as well. About the date, it was not a date that I have planned. LOLz. It was just a random date from my Hubby because he called and checked all the day off from his colleagues. ><" But well, since my initial planned dates are all during weekend and we cant have a weekend ROM, might as well just choose the date. Now this date seems to be a nice and easy remember date --> 16th Dec 2011. :)
Here comes the 2nd steps of preparation. Wedding Bands. Due to tight budget, this will be done during December month. We both saw a nice 1 in Poh Kong, will survey a few and get the right 1. :D
3rd step will be my dress~my hand bouquet. ><" My budget is around RM200 which i think it is quite impossible, unless i buy 1 dress under RM100 then I can make it for RM200. (I didnt tell my FH about this or else he will kill me. for him, ROM is 2 person matter, dont have to make it so big><")
I am so glad that my FFF can attend my ROM. They will take leave just for my day. Awesome. My family as well will be here. As for my FH, he hasnt tell his dad yet. ><" sigh~~ Hope I can post some nice pictures here during dec to share my happiness. :D

08102011

2011-10-09T12:16:00.004+08:00

This date meant to be my house warming date but it failed as a lot of things hasnt place in order, but it became another memorable day for me in my life. As usual, he fetched me to work, was doing his own stuff, fetched me back from work, went to Ikea for house hold shopping...etc. When we reached home, we were tired and exhausted. He suddenly said he left something in the car so he went down to take. Usually i will be asking what is that but that night i was sick so i did not asked. When he came up, he said he want to show me something, once i turned right, he showed me the ring. I was @.@ and asked "dont tell me you are proposing right now?" he said "yes, will you marry me?" I did not know what to ans but deep inside my heart was full of surprise and i said "yes". Quite simple and easy and of course it was out of my expectation but he looks sweet when called me "lao po" all. I think i will get him to do me a 2nd proposal during the actual day of wedding. lolz. Looking at my ring on my hand makes me feel sweet... Thanks Hubby.. love you forever~ :)

~Happy Mood~

2011-09-24T12:25:00.002+08:00

Just called to house owner. She is just so friendly. Happened to know that she has moved out the house for 2 months already. But being a responsible owner, she asked the maid to clean the house at least once a week, furthermore, she will ask the maid to clean the whole house again before hand in the key to us. My gosh... really thanks god for giving us a right house. :D
Finally after the month of April, We have the chance to view the house tomorrow. Excited~!! Now i think the penalty can be negotiated and also the time of moving in can be negotiated as well. Just too happy now. Don't know how to describe. Dont know who to tell. Just wish to share my mood right now. Hurray!!!

Stressed!!!

2011-07-21T20:59:00.003+08:00

I am too stressed!!!!
For all the calls I answered, for all the customers' requests...
I am STRESSED!
I do know how to cope the stress but not if all come in continuously.
Is it because of my hormone? or is it really because of this job?
Should I or Should I not change a new job?
I am stressed. Pray to God and please advice me.

Random at Work

2011-07-09T14:09:00.003+08:00

Today is a perfect day to rest at home as everywhere is having road block and seems like no where to go but home, and yet I need to come to work. Grr... Asking about my working life, do I love my job?! Well, it has just started and it is too early to comment about but 1 thing i do know is, i am not looking forward to come to work. I tried to tell him about this but he feels I am just lazy and suggested lots of ideas to me but i just cannot take it. You know why? Coz he loves his job but i don't. He asked me to change my job to office hour, I do want to, but the only reason that stop me from doing so is just he is not working at office hour. ><" Now I am feeling extremely not well because of my throat. As what he said : " tomorrow is my off day so i am going to be sick " Argg!!! - 15:00-

Actually I am worrying about my marriage plan as well as the trip back to Kuching but I never let him know at all. The major thing that I am worrying right now is his dad is going to be here in KL at that period and he might not be able to go back with me AGAIN. Till now he has yet say a thing about this matter so I just ignore it. About my ROM, I plan to have it on 20112011 but my parents will not be able to attend. I am thinking right now should I tell my parents I will register by myself without their attendance? ><" Confusing confusing!! Oh well, no matter what, this can only be discussed once I am in Kuching. Not now. hmm~~ - 16:16-

心声

2011-06-29T10:29:00.002+08:00

好久没吐露我的心声了⋯⋯
工作－很无聊，每天开工就想放工，放假也没想着做工比较好。但是工钱方面还满不错，算啦，就熬下去吧！我还是会尽我所能，做到最，也希望我的成就被大家认同。还好，到目前为止，都还蛮不错。。。
健康－最近很勤劳的运动，一个星期运动至少两次。。。游泳和跑步，在加上最近的FFF在玩Tennis，健康的很，希望我的减肥计划也能够顺利进行。毕竟一生人一次，当然要变的漂漂亮亮的啦。
感情－有人说我们最近恩爱的很。事实上，我们见面的时间很少，他一天到晚忙着工作，忙着赚钱，如果我们不是很需要钱，我会向他说：“不如我给你RM20，你多陪我两个钟” 有时候看他那么辛苦，我也不忍。。。
金钱－一个字形容＝ “空” ！把存来的钱都花在未来的家里，虽然什么都有，但是小小件的东西也不便宜。总之，我们俩就是个穷光蛋，一天只可以花RM10的穷人。
生活－一切都在计划中，希望顺利的完成。

Closer

2011-05-22T11:46:00.002+08:00

I am getting closer to another step of my life.
House done.. then photo shooting packages booked.
Feel excited and looking forward to it.
I have changed my lifestyle...
no longer enjoy good stuff without bi...
All the things that I had, I wish to share with him...
My plan for the next step of my life is to keep fit...
Maintain healthy lifestyle till the day that I wear my ring...
I am working very hard to lose weight and look pretty in the photos...
I am working very hard to save money...
Just to hope to have a better life in the future...
I believe that our love will be with us forever...
Its a proof of his words towards me from the beginning of our relationship.

改变 changes

2011-04-20T08:51:00.002+08:00

“如果你害怕改变，那你就永远不知道那条路会是怎样的”
“做人不可以因为习惯而不要改变的~”
Both sentences mentioned by both of them.
Different meaning behind but I was shocked to hear that from them.
1 of them mentioned this to let me go off my current life.
1 of them mentioned to let me realised he knew this sentence as well and he has became matured.
I was really impressed as that sentence came out from his mouth.
I told him that there was another person told me the same sentence so that I can leave my current life.
He said it's up to me. I have the right to choose.
I told him that I have chosen, which is why i am here, beside him.

烦.烦.烦

2011-04-18T10:30:00.001+08:00

好烦哦！！
买屋子其实要考虑很多因素
比如：孩子的教育等。。。
什么地方才是最好的!
一路以来都没想到那么长远
想到钱的问题已经一个头两个大
今天的我是时候长大了
是时候开始积极省钱了
他，原来早就比我成熟了
是我听不进去而已
家俱，油漆，装修，样样都需要钱~
很烦哦！！！！！！！

联络

2011-04-13T09:45:00.001+08:00

这几天的联络都很不开心想像这样也许是好事放弃也放弃得比较容易做梦都会想念你的温柔有谁能告诉我我这样的决定是对还是错以后的我会后悔吗？我越想和你联络心里对爱情就会越来越犹豫不决我真的不可以这样下去了我要压抑想见你的感觉不要再让自己的情不自禁破坏现在的感情

思念

2011-04-10T00:00:00.002+08:00

有谁懂思念的感觉是怎样
收到的信息都是在责骂我
除了道歉我还能怎样
影子慢慢模糊了
但是给的回忆还是很清晰
恨我自己听着熟悉的歌
都是表达本人心声
还在伤心吗？还在气我吗？

4 more days to the End

2011-02-23T13:55:00.002+08:00

I really will miss this company a lot.
All the laughter we shared together...
All the tough times we went through together...
When you have trouble, someone will lend out his/her hand...
When you are hungry, someone will put food in your mouth...
When you look sad, someone will come and comfort + cheer you up or listen to you...
When you were back from Vacation, someone will ask how's the trip all...
When there's sales fare from Airasia, everyone will be discussing where to go and when to go...
When someone is going out for lunch, he/she will ask if you wanna "da pao" or when is your lunch...
When you are bored, your inbox can be spammed with funny nonsense emails... or someone will just come and approach and ask, let's Cho Dai Di. :P
Our Motto : Fun Fulfillment and Focus~
Good Attitude : Will-Do Attitude...
Miss Miss... My family here in Salmat... :Þ
Sara Mummy, Imran Bro, Kelly ah sou, Mondo nephew....Argg!!

Emo-InG

2011-02-15T12:34:00.003+08:00

I wonder why I am still feeling sad when it is time for me to move on and for him to move on as well. Last night, I spent 2/3 of the hours thinking of the moments we have spent together. I am questioning myself throughout whole night, what exactly is the thing that I am concern about? When I watched drama, those situations applied. When I ate something, the place used to have our memories. I hate myself for being in this situation. When a guy that have spent 7 years to tolerate all my bad characters, when a guy that have changed lots of stuff compared to the 1st time, when a guy can do all the things for a girl without a word... that guy isnt that bad tho. Its so unfair that he has to be compared to another 1 when I am not the perfect 1. Wake Up and Move On!

心中的无奈

2010-12-11T15:32:00.002+08:00

昨天（10/12/2010）应该是我一生中最难忘的一天。
这种情形其实拖了好几个月，每一次都没有结果，只是选择把问题藏在心中的某个角落，希望没有人发现问题的存在。。这种情形是逃避~我不是不知道的。
昨天，终于做了决定。。。
不舍，但又能怎样？！
我很恨我自己，为什么会那么自私？
自以为所做的事都是为别人好，但其实只是为了自己快乐。。。
但往往没想过，我把快乐建立在别人的痛苦上。
我不可以怪任何人，只可以怪自己，因为是我把事情演变成现在这种情形。。
祝福，我收到了。。
是时候学会独立了。。
我必须学会适应“新”的生活。
心底深处还是希望这不是事实。。。唉！！

自我反省

2010-11-05T22:23:00.003+08:00

看回我以前的部落格，突然觉得以前的我文采比较好。
是不是人没自我进修自然就会退步呢？
我现在做什么都觉得很累，疲倦无比！做工也好，在家也好，出街逛逛也好，都觉得力不从心~！
开始厌倦我现在的生活~
是不是该换个新环境呢？
应该不是这个问题~
应该又是那该死的“钱”。。。
我已经两个多月，都没有真正的开心过。。
就是你~~害到我这样，不能好好享受生活。
我现在只可以自我勉励，苦尽甘来，希望古人不会骗我。
加油吧~!!身边还有很多关心和愿意帮你的朋友~你一定撑得过去的！
我永远不会忘记，是谁在我难过和走投无路的关头，伸出援手。谢谢!

I'd Rather.... @.@

2010-09-30T23:04:00.000+08:00

I thought sometime alone
was what we really needed
you said this time would hurt more than it helps
but I couldn't see that
I thought it was the end
of a beautiful story
and so I left the one I loved at home to be alone (alone)
and I tried to find
out if this one thing is true
that I'm nothing without you
I know better now
and I've had a change of heart

I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
whoo-oo-oo-oo yeah

And then I met someone
and thought she could replace you
we got a long just fine
we wasted time because she was not you
we had a lot of fun
though we knew we were faking
love was not impressed with our connection built on lies, all lies
so I'm here cause I found this one thing is true
that I'm nothing without you
I know better now
and I've had a change of heart

I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
who holds my heart

I can't blame you if you turn away from me, like I've done you,
I can only prove the things I say with time,
please be mine,

I'd rather have bad times with (please be mine) you,
than good times with someone else (I know)
I'd rather be beside you in a storm (anytime),
than safe and warm by myself (so sure baby)
I'd rather have hard times to gether,
than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart (my heart)

I'd rather have bad times with you (surely),
than good times with someone else (surely)
I'd rather be beside you in a storm (oh yeah),
than safe and warm by myself (all by myself)
I'd rather have hard times together,
than to have it easy apart (you know it)
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart

I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
whoooo.....who holds my heart

The End Of Someone In My Life

2010-09-27T19:13:00.001+08:00

Day after day
Time pass away
And I just can´t get you off my mind
Nobody knows ... I hide it inside
I keep on searching but I can´t find
The courage to show ...
To letting you know ...
I´ve never felt so much love before
And once again I´m thinking about
Taking the easy way out ...

But if I let you go
I will never know
What my life would be
Holding you close to me
Will I ever see
You smiling back at me
How will I know?
If I let you go ...

Night after night
I hear myself sayin´
Why can´t this feeling just fade away?
There´s no one like you ...
You speak to my heart...
It´s such a shame we´re worlds apart ...
I´m too shuy to ask ...
I´m too proud to lose
But sooner or later I gotta choose
And once again I´m thinking aboutTaking the easy way out ...

Lifes

2010-09-04T19:13:00.002+08:00

It has been some times since I last updated my blog. I went to Bali, Langkawi and Singapore during 1 month times. Well, conclusion for all the trips, AWESOME!

I agreed with the states that going with different peoples to different places will create different feelings. I went to Bali with my whole bunch of colleagues. Went to Langkawi with him only and went to Singapore with him and friends.

I love travelling. Only with unlimited money usage. But trips make me appreciate him more. The way he concerned me, the way he fulfilled my desire of shopping, the way he wants me to enjoy the trip.

Well, back to reality...
Still waiting for the announcement, or maybe 2nd interview.
If it's yours, it's yours. hmm..

Tomorrow is his birthday. Happy Birthday bi... ^^

Own Style

2010-08-19T18:11:00.002+08:00

Just want to share with all of my friends here that I have my own style of dealing with stress or things. Even the one that close to me will not like the way i deal with things. It's just as simple as different people has different style of dealing things. Well, all I need is just a good listener. And luckily, I do have. In fact a lot. Don't be pissed if I never take your advices. I guess everyone also doing the same thing. Seek advices but seldom accept.

Went for interview. Hope for the best but prepare for the worst.
-that sentence was from George Chin-
Well, I do hope I can get it of course. Still, I dont like to put lots of hopes in it as the more I wish to get it, the more I wont.

Relationship..
My dreams...
Sacrifies...
Sigh~!!

A Meaningful Song from Someone

2010-08-08T01:40:00.003+08:00

You ask if I'm still alone
and I just laugh...
"I am loving someone"
"I have someone to love"
You seem to worry about me
Telling me that there is someone you would like me to meet
Do you know that i already have a lover
A person I cherish so much that I had to hide her
That person, only I can see her
She is only visible to my eyes
Her name will be sealed in my lips forever
Only the tears that fill my eyes know the truth
They know that that person is you
I dont want to have her
I dont want to be greedy
I just want to love her
Do you know that I already had a great lover?
A person I cherish so much that I had to hide her
That person, only I can see her
She is only visible to my eyes
Her name will be sealed in my lips forever
Only the tears that fill my eyes know the truth
They know that that person is you
You see that... I'm not alone
Dont worry about me so much...
Someday, I'll introduce that person to you
Can you hear the words of the tears that filled up my eyes?
They said that that person is you....

Sharing = Wrong?

2010-06-27T13:56:00.002+08:00

I dont know why we have to quarrel because of this matter. I dont care whether people that i shared with share their things with me or not. At least I am sharing and I felt happy when I share something good with friends. Why are you so unhappy about? Ok, I did apologized. Try my best to make you happy back but instead of a forgiving smile and forgiving talk, you gave me a small smile which I asked you to. I am sick of asking people not to angry anymore. I am a human as well, and I will angry as well. Why am I always the one that give up. Dont say I am not willing to say sorry, I Did.
Friends, same as well. I am so scared of making people angry with me. I just want to be happy with everyone around me. When I apologized, I didnt get any sincere forgiving. Why am I the 1 that say sorry?! To everyone is the same. I am those that wont get angry i guess. After i released my anger, I will feel terribly regret. I released my anger to my agents. I apologized. Can someone apologized to me instead? Like "Sorry to make you angry?"
Ruining my weekend. Which suppose to be happy and nice. I stayed home yesterday for the whole day just to wait you come back from work and we happily enjoy the supper and the night since you are not working today. What did i get? Speechless night. Angry face. Speechless supper. I just want to go out enjoy. Why cant i..... And I thought after sleeping in the morning you will be ok, but i am the one that thinks like that. How stupid. Stupid weekend. Stupid!!!!!

Still Far Away From Me

2010-06-10T20:01:00.002+08:00

Just got an announcement : "Next week you will be attending the TL interview."
Everyone congrats me but inside my heart I feel like saying : "Do not congrats me that fast."
Somehow, just got a feeling that I am not as good as him.
If only both of us can be promoted together...

Saw a dress down there at Bazaar. Oh Gosh, it's so pretty. It's the dress that I have tried to find since a few months ago. But it's quite pricy. RM 100 for a dress...not really a dress, it's quite a long top. Sigh... if only someone can buy it for me, if only i can own that without using my money. :( I am totally broke. Not really broke but at least not rich enough to buy a RM 100 dress.
Still dreaming about me wearing that lovely lacey dress.

I am quite stupid sometimes. I cant really differentiate who is good to me and who is bad to me. I wish I can just ignore this and be nice and frank to everyone. My brains need to think alot of things and yet even release stress also need to see who is the right one to talk to? Ridiculous.

Quite sometimes since i talked to my mum. Need to find some times to call them.
Back soon. Leave the rest of the problems for tomorrow. I need more REST.

My Feeling Right Now

2010-04-27T22:36:00.002+08:00

Wondering why there is such racist people in this world? It wouldnt affect my feeling if you are not hurting my friend. Gosh!! Now i have calmed down. I dont want this to affect my progress so i choose to ignore.

If someone ask me, are you ready for the next step? What shall i answer? If i say yes, i will feel guilty when i failed to perform in the future; If i say No, they will feel i am not dedicated enough. What shall i answer?

I will always try my very best to perform if i am in that position. But right now i am not. No matter how, i have to do my own things. Sighh.

My future, what will it be?
Just hope to get married and become a mother of two and own a nice caring husband. haha!!

愚蠢的我

2010-04-23T00:17:00.002+08:00

好久没写部落格了，最近的事情实在是发生的太快了。
现在的我真的忙得透不过气，但都是自己拿来的。
为了筹更多的钱，我的精力都放在工作上；
但又不是一件好事。。。
好难搞哦!!!
我为什么会为了一时的利益，忘了我的长远目的呢？
我是时候好好反省了，到底我要的是什么？！
突然发现我的华语变差了，有好多事都表达不出来。
知心朋友没几个，现在只有身边的他可以让我倾诉。
还好有他~教我怎么决定。
是时候好好"发威"了~

Shouldnt because of NOW and lost my future.
Think of the future.
Future will makes your life even better than what you did now.
Why till now then i realised all these?
Arent i stupid?
**Der~~!!**

It's Friday~!!

2010-03-12T23:06:00.002+08:00

Finally i will be off for two days. I have never appreciated my off days like now.
Em, so far so good, i mean my training.
1 thing that i can tell you is, everyone in the class knew that their trainer's english sucks.
haha~!!
I am humble enough to admit i am not that good, and i need more improvement.
But still, i think i prefer to become coach than trainer. :P
There's lots of things happen. Even some realised that i am neutral.
Too neutral till you will feel bad if you talk bad about someone in front of me.
Because i wont give any feedback nor respond.
Do you think this is good? I think it is.
I am actually now still in the office. And i feel relaxed. ^^
Chill for now dear myself.
Bye now.

New Challenges

2010-03-09T18:53:00.002+08:00

I am now facing this new challenge, which i think i dont really like it.
I am quite anti social, i dont know why, and yet i have been given this precious chance to do so.
Whoever that attend my training will feel bored i guess.
I am not good in joking, not good in expressing. I know i have to learn.
I think the main reason is, i am not comfortable to speak english whole day through.
Do i look stress? I think i did as quite numbers of people asked me so.
Even my boss.
How to cope?
I should read books regards this.
Hope to hear something good from me about this training session.
Its going to end next friday.
Jia You~~!!

NM Coming Soon

2010-02-24T23:08:00.000+08:00

Anything that is already a reality, don’t think about it anymore.
It wont change no matter how…
Why not try to accept it?

I have tried to…but I cant stop myself from thinking.
There are lots of WHAT IF in my mind.
Somehow I know that everything will be fine, BUT….
WHAT IF it is not fine?
The result isnt that bad though.
Not like I am going to die if it is not fine.
Well, it will ruin my plan for my life.
Arggg…cant wait to reach March now.

想要一生幸福，难吗？

2010-02-16T20:30:00.002+08:00

从小，我都渴望以后会和另一半白头到老，但知道这事是不一定的。
看到好多夫妻都是在人前做戏，在人后又不同，很心痛。
想想以后的我会这样吗？
我曾经告诉他，两夫妻到老后都是比较依赖儿女；
但他告诉我他不是这么想的。
他希望他能和他的另一半相依到老。
他希望老了，陪着他的是他的另一半。
真的有可能吗？
幸福，难吗？
人就不能原谅对方吗？
我也知道忍耐是有限的。。但，不能忍了吗？
爱情为什么会变质？
爱情为什么会变感情？
我和他，会这样吗？
好想听听相处了七八年的情侣，结婚后还是一样甜蜜吗？
我内心喊着：“我一定会幸福到老的！！”
我希望如此~~

2010-02-06T12:30:00.002+08:00

Don’t know what happen to me…
Sleep more than 8 hours = SLEEPY.
Sleep less than 8 hours = SLEEPY.
What else can I do to make me awake?
A cup of coffee surely wont help…
A nice breakfast will do actually but not everyday I can have 1. Sigh…!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chinese New Year is just around the corner now and yet I feel nothing towards it.
Maybe because all the new dress have been worn, and shoes as well.
Haha…no more new things for new year. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Still having nightmares for end of this month.
Please let it come and go as fast as possible.
I knew that the situation might not be as bad as I thought.
But I really cant stop myself from thinking about it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anything else to complaint?
Oh ya, I am actually trying very hard to stop myself from complaining.
Pity those who has to listen to me.
But this is how a girl works.
Complaining at the mean time destress.
Hope he will understand bout this. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Still waiting for my lunch time and also my break.
Hopefully some fruits will make me awake~!!
An I thought a piece of Roti Bakar and a Cup of Soya will makes me full till dinner time.
But now I feel hungry~!
Argggg…unsatisfied tummy and mind.

Motivations

2010-02-03T21:41:00.002+08:00

Currently having a great life so dont worry about me~
**as if there is someone that worried about me**
But i need to gain more motivations. Where did they come from?
I knew some of my leaders actually gained them from travelling...
I need something that motivates me and my purse as well.
Hehe~ Trying harder to prove myself. Stopping myself from doing more mistakes.
Stopping myself from releasing everything. I am glad that i only need to worry about my working life and nothing else.
This is what i called a GREAT life. ^.^v

Emo-inG

2010-01-20T20:11:00.002+08:00

Emo-ing in the office.
Waiting time to pass~
So Slow and makes me think alot!!
Wish to live peacefully and happily but things will not go smoothly in my life.
Thinking how to pass through every obstacles that i meet...
Will my life change after that?
Thinking and Emo-ing.
Feel like wanna talk to someone that really understand my feeling or understand what i am worrying.
I cant talk to him, because he will just think that i think too much!!
Sighh~!!
Emo Emo~~!!

梦想

2010-01-07T14:25:00.002+08:00

从小到大，我都不敢奢望自己有多大的成就。即使知道自己的能力可以做更大的事，也不敢从自己的口中说出来，因为心里知道，一旦出自口中，那个希望就会变成梦想。
还记得当初，我以为自己会当上会长。。。自信满满的我抵达开会场所。结果被选的并不是我，而是我的同学。我真的很气，心里想你到底有什么资格？而我还是保留原有的位子。现在想通了，我的确不是当领袖的料，如果我真的当上了，我会因为应付不了而被退位的。那一刻起，我再也不想当领袖了。
今天的我，事业好像有点起步。说真的，我不行的，但我会尽力而为。其实，我是怎样的一个人，我自己都不清楚。我的生活，大都活在矛盾之间。现在别无所求，只希望活得快乐，而这一定会实现，并不是梦想。

Do u ever feel that u want to turn back the time and stop some incidents from happening??

2010-01-03T22:41:00.002+08:00

Am quite disappointed.
At myself.
Wish to turn back the time and stop myself from doing a Huge Mistake.
That mistake now will affect my future life.
Hopefully it wont, but still, it happened.
Just got to know that some peoples put hopes on me...
But i ruined all the hopes.
In fact, i dont know how bad it will be.
But i promised it wont be repeated again.
You've got my words....
No Next Time!
Can anyone trust me?~!
I still want all those hopes.

The Year 2010

2010-01-02T14:50:00.002+08:00

Beginning of this year....
Wake Up
Quarrel with BF
Ordered Wrong Breakfast
Wasted My Money
Knocked My Head
Scolded By Manager
Sms Blamed By Housemate
Call Qs~

Wondering what else will be happening T.T

Its OK, Everything has ended. Ready For new challenges~ Come~

Christmas Day

2009-12-25T12:34:00.002+08:00

This year will be the 1st christmas that i will be spending with him.
Hopefully it is wonderful and memorable.
Will be getting my Beloved Xmas present tomorrow on Boxing Day.
Yesterday spent wonderful night with yee and mei.
Three 8 po talked about everything and eating at the same time.
There has been awhile since my last outing chit chatting with friends.
Missed this kind of situation alot.
Today i got a feeling that will be a wonderful night.
Thanks to Yee for cooking everything tonight.
To me, she is a wonderful mummy in the future.

Currently in Office.
Everyone is exciting.
Lots of games to participate and Free Foods to eat.
Thought wont have lots of calls but most chinese do not celebrate this wonderful day.
So they still call in. =.=
Hopefully will stop in 1 hour time.

Miss Christmas Songs alot.
Used to carolling around.
Singing wonderful song, Praising our Lord.
Feel quite peaceful in this wonderful day.

But just annoyed by 1 call.
zzZZZzzzz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fake Concern?

2009-12-19T11:18:00.002+08:00

May i accuse your concern as a fake one?
Damn Upset last night when u said my pain was fake.
More pain in my heart when compared to my tummy.
Did i do things wrong again?
Did i never let you felt that i am the one who give too?
Hardly sleep last night and tonight working graveyard shift.
Cant imagine how am i going to look like on monday.
Zombie~
tata, no one to depend on from now onwards.
Keep my words. Shall i? -zZzzzzZZ-

Unpredictable Life

2009-12-14T18:07:00.002+08:00

Today had a long chat with Ernest.
Used to chat with him about everything, gossiping and updating recent life...etc
There has been a while since our last chat.
The reason i can chat with him is because we only met each other for once.
And also he is a friend of my Bf so he knew exactly what kind of person my bf is.
Just updated the news that happened around us.
Shocked, and Surprised were our feelings.
Suddenly felt it was so happening in our life.
Happy, sad, shock and surprising...
Wondering when can i end this feeling...
It was a nightmare everytime they come for a visit.
I am really glad to see them...but that has been my secret for years.
I had told him regards these and yet he cant understand what are my exact worries.
Maybe he does, but i wont know, because he wont discuss such things with me.
All i can do now is just bare with this for a few more years and it will ends, no matter what.

Oooooooo, talked about recent life...
December, last month of the year 2009...
Sick and MC on the very 1st few days of this month...
then house got broke into, took away some of the precious things that belong to my housemate.
I am really lucky to secure my laptop, but not my digicam.
Well, not really sad about it as i am going to change a new one soon....
Something really funny was, that particular "thief" has plugged off all the wayers from my laptop and yet he decided not to take it. Maybe "something" makes him change his mind. Who knows...
I got too much offdays and i know this month i am going to be poor.
Sponsoring LCD, getting a really nice and favourite Hp, making my ugly hair...etc.
Can someone tell me the results of the everythingy that i want?
Will it be useful? Will it be nice? Will it worth?
Em..looking forward to Christmas Day and end of the year...
This will be the 1st christmas that we are going to celebrate together after 5 years together.
God Bless me, for everything...thanks. :)

Stressful Life

2009-11-26T21:25:00.002+08:00

This particular week makes me so stress.
AHT, Conversion...what else? Entertain stupid and boring customers...etc etc.
I am not blaming them, but sometimes i just feel they are so bitxhy and does not want to listen to what i said.
I am flashing back since when was the last time i shouted at someone.
I think, not think but definitely never shout with someone.
I will only shout alone when i was in total bad mood.
And yet i learn something from this job, i learn how to shout to them...:P
**Going to heartattack soon**
Just talked with Mum on the phone...
Since i started to work, i talk more with my mum.
Maybe because she stopped mumbling me about me and my bf thingy~
haha~~ But still, not everything i can share with her yet.
I love my job, and love my colleagues, love my 'mummy' as well....
frankly speaking, when i have them around me when i work, i will feel extremely comfortable! :)

10 Things that You Cannot Do after Breakup!

2009-11-15T10:33:00.002+08:00

Something to share with all of you....
Sent By TL Pearly

１．纠缠
立即死心，完全不去纠缠，也许是不可能的。那麽，给自己一个期限吧。
分手时，他答应会打电话给你。他信誓旦旦地说，他会找你。
他说，虽然分开了，他还是会永远关心你。
你信以为真，每天等他电话，但是，这些承诺完全没有兑现。
你终于明白，分手时说的话，只有傻瓜才会相信。
应该放手了，可你捨不得，你太想他了，好吧，那就打电话给他。
第一次，他的态度冷冰冰。第二次，还是冷冰冰。
第三次，他依然没有回心转意的迹象。
凡事不过三，这些电话，以后不用再打了。
要是他爱你，下一次，会是他打电话来。
要是他不爱你，再打四十次也没用，不如留一点尊严自己。

２．不要打无声电话
一听到他的声音就挂断，你以为他不会猜到是你打来的吗？
除非他是个大笨蛋。假如他是个大笨蛋，根本不值得你爱。

３．不要再去看他的网志或 facebook
他的一切已经跟你无关，别自讨苦吃。
他的网志才没写得那麽好，值得你作为一个读者去看。

４．不要随便找个人来填补他的空缺
失恋时，跟一个自己不爱的人一起，只会让你更想念他，也更瞧不起自己。

５．不要拿自己的幸福来报复他。
明明不喜欢他的朋友，为了报复他，故意跟那个男人好。
你以为他会心痛吗？他只会觉得你不自爱。他根本不关心。

６．没期限的沉沦
伤心和沉沦总有个期限。两个月也好，三个月也好，给自己一个期限，
就当是送给自己一个奢侈的失恋假期吧。
假期之后便要清醒，一直沉沦下去，当你醒觉的那天，也许已经太迟了，你已经错过太多。

７．不要逼自己去忘记
能够忘记的时候，自然就能够忘记。忘记不是一时三刻做得到的。
某时某刻，幽幽地想起那个你爱过的人，依然忘不了他，是人生的一部分。
然后，某年某天，想起同一个人，发觉你对他早已经完全没有感觉了，原来也是人生的一部分。

８．不要无爱的性
有些男人很自私，他不爱你了，但是，当他想要的时候，他还是很乐意找你上床，
因为他知道，痴心的你不会拒绝。
别那麽傻了，假如他还爱你，他不会捨得给你无望的梦想。
无论你再跟他睡多少次，他早已经不爱你了，也不会回到你身边。
每次上床之后，他只想你快点离开。
当爱情已死，再疯狂的性也没法重燃爱的馀烬。

９．不要把他送的礼物还给他
只有小男生和小女生才会做这种事。
无论他送的东西多麽贵重或是多麽有意义，当爱情消逝，
互相送过的礼物对你或对他已经没有任何意思。留着吧，
送回去或是把礼物要回来都太小家子气了。

１０．不要相信自己说的话
你大可以很悲壮地告诉他：「我以后再也不会这麽爱一个人了！」
但是，你心裡不必真的这样想。人生的千迴百转，是你心碎时没法想像的。
你以后会找到比他好的，到时候，你也许会反问自己：「我当时到底为什麽会爱上他啊？」

Its so true~ And remember --> The Next 1 Will Be Better~ ^^v
P/S: I am now in Office on this BEAUTIFUL sunday and feel bored while waiting for my lunch!!

Love = Sweet? or Sour?

2009-11-09T22:08:00.002+08:00

Sometimes i feel so sweet, someone care me so much, feel so blissful.
But sometimes i feel so tired, because i cant be the one u want.
Sometimes i feel sad, because u always like to shout at me.
I never shout at you, because i know what is the feeling.
Sometimes i am thinking, how will it looks like if we really married?
Felt i am the blissful one, but people's bf never shout at them~
Shall i forgive u if u apologize?
What if you still angry with me?
Shall i apologize?
Crapppss~~ What an unhappy OffDay~!

气头上

2009-10-29T15:17:00.002+08:00

为什么要这样看我?
我不会让你失望的~~
看你回来怎么道歉。。。
假期是我的世界，
难道我不可以做我喜欢的事吗？
我都没干涉你的假期，
为什么你就要干涉我的。
不要以为我不在你才懂得快乐，
你不在我也很快乐的。
@#$@#$$#$^%$%^!!

Holiday Mood

2009-10-23T10:21:00.002+08:00

Recently i am in holiday mood...
Still remember chat with Tze Yee that day and planned to go Taiwan 2 more years.
Will book ticket next year.
Am excited, till last night he told me if wanna buy house, that plan should postponed.
Isshh...
Never been to outside before, and i dont wish to go with him only to Taiwan. That is not a good place for 2 people's world.
Next plan will be an outing for Salmat. Although just 1 day trip, i think it will be really fun.
Sorry my Uni friends that i cant go penang with u all...
Schedule quite tight and i do not manage to swap my off days.
This coming Sat, that is tomorrow, will go bowling with collegues. SponSored! haha~
Still thinking wanna go my cousin's wedding or not?
This is a good chance that i can officially intro him to everyone....
And still thinking when to go melaka and penang~ =.=

中文之信

2009-10-12T13:13:00.002+08:00

好久没打中文了。。。
好像都不会表达了。。。

以前觉得生活无忧无虑,
现在越大就觉得越多烦恼。
对，船到桥头自然直，
那船怎么去桥头呢?
也不是要有人把它划过去？
[By Kah Lim]
所以，未来的生活还是得烦的。

生活越来越像只有他的存在。
但是我很满足，
因为只有他就足够带给我很多的欢笑。
但是有时还是会想念你，你，你，还有你。。。
儿，听说你最近不开心，
我开始做早上的shift了。。。
一起吃饭，好吗？

有股冲动，想和中学的姐妹们去游玩。。。
想和大学的朋友聚一聚。。。

A Sudden Blogging

2009-09-26T23:24:00.002+08:00

Guess where am i now?
==At the office==
and guess what is the time now?
==11:26PM==
Gosh...i dont like this shift...
Just now got a call from NZlander...
I always like NZlander than Aussie
But this call make me have different impression towards NZ-er.
Sighh...shouting and argue-ing without accepting my advices.
Helloooo?? I am working...and it's not my fault as well for the cancellation right??
Cant he be like abit considerate?
sighh...=.=
Half an hour more to go, luckily i have my Offday tomorrow...
i will be going for a shopping tomorrow...
i promised myself a short with whatever value.
hehe..I got more commitment nowadays, but still, i have to get something new to wear right?
LOLzz.... I need more money, hopefully no more calls coming in...because those calls will bring down my conversion and there will be no commission for me today~ =P
Still...i love this job~ ^_^

Flashing Back~~

2009-09-17T12:12:00.002+08:00

Recently i keep on thinking back the days i used to be a child.
I love my primary school lifes and i think i am 1 of the active and hardworking students.
I used to participate in every competitions such as story telling, spelling or essay writing...
And i always got to get a prize in all those competitions.
I missed the day i stood on the stage for the story telling competition...
I missed the moment my named was shouted and i had to walk on the stage to receive prizes.
I really missed the days~ and i hope one of my children in the future actually do what i had done.
" Age 3 represent Age 80" --- in canto~
But now i dont think i am as excellent as i used to be.
I never got this kind of moment since i stepped into my uni life.
Even my secondary sch life, i only had this kind of moment once in a while.
Maybe because my parents transfered alot when i was in secondary school.
But i wont blame them, because i met all my precious friends and also, him.
He always scolded me when i flashed back...
He said " must look forward and not keep on thinking back the old days "
He never knew that i enjoyed my life in primary school.
I even missed the times my daddy checked on my homework to ensure i done everything.
Now my daddy is old, he never did such things to my bro and sis.
My life is always in a confusion.
I never know what i like and what i dont.
Every sentence that i used will always end with a "but".
And i know i let some of the people down for what i am now.

Resting Time

2009-09-14T11:44:00.002+08:00

Since 5th of september, i had a restless week till today.
I felt something that i dont dare to tell people....
I started feel tired to get so high in the commission list.
I wonder why? I prefered less calls but i did still maintain my AHT well.
But no matter what, i still like my job. Bla Bla Bla...
------END of STupid Job COmplaint---------

I got a call today, by my car agent, he told me that the car is on the way...
Yeepee...he asked me when can i go about the down payment...
I tried to call bi about this, but sh*t, he forgot his phone at home.
Sighh... DOnt blame if we got the car late.... hehe
it has been 2 weeks since we booked the car.
Hopefully can get it by this end of month.
------END of Car StuffssS---------

What should i do today??
I slept alot till my head is kinda pain now.
Mayb i should do some household chores.
Thinking of Cooking but lazzyy~
Maybe make some jelly isnt that hard..right?
------END of Stupid Thinking--------

冲动的理由

2009-09-01T14:24:00.002+08:00

好久没有冲动了
回想起那天，280809，真的超级冲动。
想都没想就把老公换了，换成一位好姐妹。
然后又有了小PP。。。不过那是已经考虑很久的。
虽然赚的钱越来越多，但应该把它储蓄起来，而不是冲动购物。
他的生日快到了。。。不知道该怎么庆祝。
口口声声说要吃我煮的东西，可知道我已经没信心煮给他吃了。
对于要求越来越高的他，我已经没能力应付了。
突然发现，本小姐越来越老了。
近视越来越深，脸部越来越多皱纹，烦恼也越来越多。。。
钱，为何物？
好想和朋友聚会，3838一番。
下雨天让我心情特别灰~

Bla bla bla

2009-08-24T20:53:00.002+08:00

Just want to express my recent feeling.
Long time no shopping, no movie and no entertainment.
But to my surprise, he asked me to go movie this week.
I understand, now we have lots of commitments.
Planned to buy car soon and i wonder if i got enough money to save.
Suddenly feel like money is hard to earn.
Abit looking forward to see fireworks and countdown on merdeka's day.
But to my dismay, no people wants to go.
sigh...
Missed the time we enjoy together.
Missed the time he hugged me and enjoyed the beauty on the air.
Missed~ all the entertainments that i used to have.

Convocation 2009

2009-08-15T21:03:00.005+08:00

Lately really busy preparing convocation's stuff and busy working. Didnt even have the chance to rest properly. Finally, both of us graduated from University. I suddenly remembered the day that i took my SPM result, and he took his. And now both of us wearing the mortar board and holding the scroll. I cant believed we had been through all these things together.

Here is our pics~

I am so regret that i didnt took my personal picture.I like UM school background because there are waterfall and nice garden. Unlike Our MCA building~ :P

So Tired But Happy~ Not Forgetting to Intro my Babies~

Bro -- Kuai Kuai with new born Sis -- Guai Guai
D.O.B: 07082009 and 15082009
Haha~~ Cute Right? :P

Exhausted

2009-08-03T14:42:00.002+08:00

I am totally exhausted after two night's shift from 9pm to 6am. It was fun, but i prefered to have my beauty sleep than answering those calls. I wonder why they can called up at 3 or 4 in the morning to ask for the itin sent to their email? Last night i was struggling with a call from perth at around 2:30 am. He wants me to do PBG for him with another airline. Okay, fine, since i was free, i thought i can helped him with that. We keep on argue for the price that we had in front of us.... i thought he is an aussie all the way long till he suddenly said " aunty, you are so leceh laa" Shit... he has a wife and son and yet called me aunty. Terrible headache after 1 hour talking to him. =.= Stupidddd~~ Now i felt like i never had enough sleep no matter how much i sleep. So i prefered to stay awake till tonight. hehe~ My convo is just around the corner now, quite looking forward. :P

Hubby The Best

2009-07-28T23:52:00.003+08:00

Today suppose to be very very unhappy...
Because the 2 books i bought online lost~
Somemore my salary is not as much as i thought, i wonder why~
Thinking of the 2 lost books made me feel sad...
end up crying for 2 hours in my bed.
Things started to change when i received the seller msg.
She willing to bare the lost with me...
Its so nice of her to insist sharing the lost, eventhough i feel it is not necessary.
Happily, i bought back the 2 books i need and ask her to send by pos laju instead of express.
Things became better when my hubby back from work.
He brought me out to eat KFC.
Things went from better to best when i saw the "Border" wrapping in front of me.
Asking what is in there, he said dont know...given by his colleagues.
When i unwrapped it, i saw it is my favourite "Twenties girl"...
Feel so touched~
Regret this morning complainted about his stingyness to Nicole.
My hubby still loves me...
He is the Best~

A Day that I have waited so long

2009-07-28T01:19:00.002+08:00

Today and the day after tomorrow are the days that i have waited so long since last week.
Finally, i can rest well at home and do the things that i longed to do.
Drama, books, drama ........... books.... haha...nothing else.
I think i let Sandra down with last week's performance.
Sigh...This is the LAST week and yet i let her down.
She must be very disappointed to me.
High AHT, Low Conversion...
But i couldn't wait for tomorrow...
I will be overjoyed when i look into my bank account tomorrow.
I know i will and i certainly will.
Tomorrow will be my payday and yet i got money left (quite) since my last salary.
Successful in saving huh...eventhough i did lots of shopping for clothes and books.
I promise myself to open another saving account to save my salary each month...
Maybe a joint account, is this a good idea? Not sure....
Oh, and today i learnt alot about Australia and New Zealand...
Kinda interested on some places....will give them a visit when the account that i am going to open has reached at least 5 digits.
When will that be? 5 years? or even more?
Or really like what bi said...has to wait until he becomes a manager in the future...
What should i do with my salary this month?
Our anniversary is just around the corner....how should we celebrate it?

Emotionally Unhappy

2009-07-25T11:10:00.002+08:00

Yesterday had a bad thing happened to me...
Scolded by customer...
I rather scolded by those who use proper english than those who used XXlish.
Here is the comparison:
"I thought you said that it can be changed?"
"Just now said can can can, now said cannot...."
Which line will you prefer?
When i knew it was my mistake and i apologize:
"Oh, so this is your mistake so you have to think properly before you misleading me"
"Sorry sorry sorry...just now said can can can now said sorry, dont know what you all talking"
When i heard the second sentence last night, I really really burned up...
WTF, cant i do some mistakes? I am only a normal person...
Sigh~~forget it...today will be another wonderful day...i hope.

"Special" Day

2009-07-19T00:21:00.002+08:00

Today is the 1st time he shouted at me in front of thousands of people in the shopping mall.
I am so disappointed and scared that he will go home without me...
But luckily i am important enough for him...
Or maybe he is good enough to sympathy me...
This is really the 1st time in almost 5 years time...
Sigh..just feel there is a big gap between us since he started to feel the importance of money.
Really really cant joke about money now.
Sigh~

Things that i want to have now

2009-07-12T23:28:00.004+08:00

Things that i want to have right now:

"twenties girl" -- by Sophie Kinsella
A kind of chiffon top.... (Don't know how to describe)
A pair of nice looking sandals
A Tupperware which has 3 compartments
Nice mattress for my beauty sleep
A black short
A lot of money i guess....

Reasons for Relationship

2009-07-11T10:49:00.002+08:00

Ten Reasons to be Single:

No one will disagree with your future planning.
You can do whatever you want.
Eat whatever you like.
Use your money whenever you like.
Only wash your own dishes.
Do your own laundry.
......

Ten reasons to be in a relationship:

There will be someone hugging whenever you got problem.
Someone listen to every single thing that you mentioned.
Someone helps you with the laundry when you are hectic.
Same goes to the dishes.
Someone makes you laugh and talk with you.
Weekend is always full of planning.
Someone you can cook to.
Someone cook for you.
Someone smiles at you when you get home from work.
Dinner wherever you can....with his approval.

Sigh...i got more reasons to be in a relationship than single, i suppose, i still like the situation now right? Be tolerate my dear, and try to listen to what he wants. Hope everyday will be happy always.

Money-less

2009-07-05T22:45:00.002+08:00

Gosh, i dont know where did all my money went to~
Feel so desperate now when thinking of the money in my accounts.
Thinking of cut down my expenses but actually i did cut down during my working time...
But maybe my weekends make me spend more as i keep on eating luxury foods and shopping...
Sigh~ I am so lame~ Fail to manage my own expenditure. What the....
I dont know what to do now, it is just the starting of this month and i left only a few hundred in my account. I still have to get a blazer for my convocation...etc etc~
Feel so tired when think of money... in this case, i wish i was young, young enough to not worry about the money~
Lately reading shopaholics, i look as if i am the main character in the book, Rebecca.
Trying so hard to cut down the unnecessary expenses but self-control in shopping still unable to manage well.
Maybe i should take some advice from the self-help book...
Those books are for people who is lack of self-control, like me.
Sigh~

这两天

2009-06-28T20:34:00.006+08:00

终于到了月尾了。
虽然拿到的工钱不知道为什么那么少，
但一点都影响不到我和他，
我们到处逛逛，我还买了一本书送他。
到了晚上，我们到station one吃晚餐。

黑暗中的我们，更不会忘了拍照留念。
等了好久，食物终于到了。。
我好久没那么享受了。
但也蛮心疼我的钱包，
算啦，久久一次。
下个月一定要减少Shopping了。

今天我们完大扫除。
我的房间变了。。。
现在看上去很有满足感，
但心情难免有点低落，
因为明天又是星期一了。
我还在想要怎样计划我的钱，
还没想到已经用了三份一了。

该怎么做？

2009-06-26T23:44:00.002+08:00

我不知道该怎么做才好。。
原本觉得工作压力大，想换新环境。。
但当我差不多要见第二份工时，偏偏让我已经对这份工渐渐上手。
为什么？代表什么？我还要去吗？
我不知道该做什么。。。
不想牺牲我的假期。。。
但又想去试试看这份到底是怎样的一份工。。。
有人可以教我怎么做吗？
心里真的七上八下。。。
乱七八糟。。。

Ever Since Together

2009-06-23T22:43:00.002+08:00

Ever since we are together, we share alots of common interests.
We interested in comic when we just got together...
We interested in fish 2 years ago...
And now we are addicted to books together...
Ever since together, since we have the common interests.
We used to borrow comic books for each others...
we talked alot about shin chan...
We used to shop around the pet shops for cute doggie and fish...
And now we shop around bookstore searching for books that suit us...
Maybe he loves non-fiction, instead of fiction books which are my fav...
We still love to shop around the bookstore...
I am glad that i have him, to share my everything in my life.
Love you bi...^^

Nice Weekend

2009-06-21T23:06:00.002+08:00

Really enjoyable weekend...
Suddenly plan to go Ipoh, and then...here we come~
Times at there never think of my job.
But times passed so fast, tomorrow will be Monday again.
Now feel miserable and lost...
Just because he is not at my side.
I keep on control, not to be like that, not to make him angry...
But sorry, i still cant control my tears.
Maybe like what he told me just now...
Things will go perfectly if you want it to be perfect.
If your mind keep on thinking the worst things,
the things will just become more worse~
Be tough dear -- From Him.

将心比心

2009-06-17T21:17:00.002+08:00

我每一次的工作，都会对顾客将心比心。。
我本身觉得，只要你对他们好，他们自然而然会对你好。。
有些人真的会这样，但有些人却非常缺德。
我真的再也想不到要用什么字来形容他们，
一大清早，心情不好，就拿我们来出气。
好无奈，但只能自我安慰，下一个会更好。
好刚刚致电到PosLajuCustomerService，
纸上写着结束时间是9:30pm，但竟没人接听。
那一刹那，很气~ 但冷静后觉得，也许今天他们很累了。
突然想起，Ms Winnie 上次致电到Customer Service大吵，
现在回想，一点都不好玩，一点都不好笑。
错的又不是那些Agent，为什么要向他们大声投诉呢？
有些顾客很好，虽然生气，
都还说：“I know its not ur fault, its ur company fault. I didn't blame u for this, i will just complain ur company, don't worry, u have nth to do with tis matter"
我很开心，至少不会完全对着社会感到失望。

我刚开始的那两个星期的训练，我看到有些senior放工了还留下来逗留，
那时我很好奇，为什么不是第一时间回家呢？
现在我正式工作了，我终于知道为什么了。
因为上班时间，根本没机会和同事聊天。。。
放工后可以分享各自的经过，真得很开心。
今天不是很如意，明天会更好吧？~！

First Day Of Actual Work

2009-06-15T21:24:00.002+08:00

Sigh~ It is stress when the customer cant understand what you are saying.
Sigh~ It is also stress when you cant understand what the customer is trying to say.
Everyone experience differently today...
Some get complaint, some get the phone hang up, some experienced fussy and bitchy customers.
And me? I got some complaint calls, as well as the fussy customers.
However, not every customer will do the same thing to you...
I had this customer who is actually so nice and understanding that she will talk word by word for me... [But only 2 out of 10 customers will do so]
I relied so much on my leader but i cant help myself for it.
I dont know why even there is a website stating all the solutions but i still prefer to rely on my leader. With his words, i feel more confident...
I am so envy after reading janson's blog.
He said he actually able to understand the accents of the australian..
I dont know why i cant understand them esp when they talk in a fast speed..sigh~~
I wonder why they have to speak that fast?
Or
I have already used to be an asian who speak slow?
Hope for a better day tomorrow...
Good Luck Adeline!! Sigh~~

Lame Starting

2009-06-10T20:54:00.002+08:00

I started to take calls today...
Not from the customers but from the agents...
Cant handle those calls well even the simplest 1.
Upset~
Disappointed~
I think this is what everyone feels today...
Really thought can handle the call well...
Sigh~
FIne, tomorrow will be another better day.
Hopefully.

**Sorethroat**

Blue blue Monday

2009-06-08T22:31:00.002+08:00

Monday - A day that a worker dislikes most.
Put it as in Blue Monday as everyone looks "blue" in their expressions.
So am i, but it is still a nice day to be.
Today did lots of practising stuffs...
Know that i am the same team under my trainer, quite surprising and uncertain.
Uncertain as in they looks professional in their jobs but not me.
I wonder will my team leader be disappointed at me?
Surprising + happy because at least i am under someone that i know...hehe~
"Our team is so fun and exciting"
Fun as in? Exciting as in?
No way i am going out for fun after my working hours...
Hope in the future this kind of thinking wont change.
I am exhausted now, at this moment, but have to wait my sleeping time to come.
ZzzZzzz~

Working Feel

2009-06-05T21:35:00.003+08:00

1 word to describe -- awesome!
This is also the word that my trainer likes alot and use it to praise us.
I like this company, at least getting more and more.
Although i said that, i still like weekend~
Today is Friday, tomorrow and the following day will be my precious.
I have waited so long for a shopping day so i promised myself to get something lovely tomorrow.
Hurray to Saturday~
Hurray to Sunday~
Sigh~ after 1 week in SF, i am getting more and more talkative.
I talked non-stop today when i reached home just now, till now.
Only for the auditionsea time and blogging time, my mouth is shut~
Well, there is 1 more week to go for my training and then i will be on the floor to pick up calls.
Nervous~ Scare~ But i know i can do it if i want to.
This is really an awesome job.

First Day in SF

2009-06-01T22:17:00.002+08:00

Today was my very first day of my full time job.
Lots of nervousy and curiosity in my mind last night before i slept.
I wonder can i handle this job?
Till today, this question is still waiting for a proper answer.
Maybe a few more weeks, i can answer this question well.
I met lots of new staffs today and all of them are so friendly.
Friendly as in talks alot among themselves, just like they had known each other for ages.
Me, a special one, is treated as a shy girl...
Whole day long just sticked to another chidian girl named chloe.
Not bad though, because at least i knew someone, and talked to someone.
I still felt empty, because everything is starts from zero, even friends.
I missed them~ much~

诱惑

2009-05-31T23:04:00.002+08:00

明天有重要事情做的我
有点经不起诱惑
他，竟然引诱我明天去玩
此时此刻心不甘，但无可奈何
做大事的人应该经得起诱惑
应该以大事为重
我该如何处理我的钱财呢
该买本簿子好好记录我不该用的钱了
要告诉爸爸我找到工了吗？
但是，连我都觉得没信心的工，爸爸会赞成吗？
还是过几天再说吧

决定

2009-05-30T13:18:00.002+08:00

总算有个决定了
虽然不是我心中最理想的
但总好过我在家无所事事，等消息
不知道我的决定是否对的
希望往后的日子我不会后悔
突然很想念莞儿
好久没和她聊天了

无能为力

2009-05-29T22:46:00.002+08:00

有人说：“希望越大，失望就越大”
我今天，失望了。。
越想得到的东西，就越容易失去。
未来的路又远了
到底我以后身在何方呢？
人生开始失去目标
我还能做些什么呢

Precious Moment

2009-05-24T22:57:00.005+08:00

This is the precious moment that we had since two years ago at KL.
Well, maybe some of them just met each other not long ago, but not for me.
I missed the moment so much even for now...hoping for our next big gathering.
Ah mien said they always gathered with not more than three persons and this time was the biggest gathering in Sandakan...
Frankly speaking, i would love to be there always but i cant. hehe...
Before this gathering i really wonder if there is something that we can talked together with...
But i have been worried too much, and i shouldn't have because wherever there is ah mien, there is laughter. Hoho.. (Jess, dun tell mien...shhh)
I still remember when we were on the way back, esp to jessie's house (whose house is on the way up the hill), ah mien keeps on making us laugh and we cant stand it because connie and i feel want to pee. (Almost pee out in her "MPV")
Talking about her most wonderful "MPV", she actually fetched 7 persons in her iswara.. gosh.. and have to go up the hill with 7 persons' weights~ gosh~
Although we did not took many pictures during this gathering, all the moments are freshly stored in our own memory.

Our 1st picture, but the light behind make us took another 1

Forgot to introduce:

[Behind] Connie, Mien Yi

[Front] Jessica, Adeline, Wai Ih

For those who not here:

Jane, Shaleen, Pei Yeik

I still remember that i said i will paste those who are not there in the picture, i will try to do so if i am free ya~~ hehe.. and not forgetting our cute camera girl, Sophia Lo (Connie's sis). Ooops, why we din take picture with her ler? hehe~~

Gals, hope to meet you all again in the future...love you all so much, muakss muakss muakss~

Boring Boring Day

2009-05-23T14:13:00.002+08:00

Boring~~
Boring~~
Boring~~
All day long sat in front of pc playing Sims 3.
The kids have grown up and the adults are going to die soon.
Bf left me at home.
Luckily to9 i am going out dinner with nicole them.
Actually wanna post my piggy gang's photos but card reader is not here. T.T
Sorry guys, will give u the picture a few more days later.
Boring~~~~~

Abnormal Life

2009-05-22T13:32:00.002+08:00

Except eat, and sleep, and gaming, what else that i can do?
I am impatiently waiting for the reply of that company, i wonder will they contact me even if i am not being choose?!
I try to cut down my eating, but it is kinda tough to do so immediately.
But no worry, i have the willpower to do so, will success one day.
I am frastruated with someone that i have no way to solve this problem.
Why is she controlling my planning? I know it is a way of caring, but instead of knowing the plan, she actually wants me to do her way. No way, no way and no way.
I am an adult right know, i have the right to do what i want. I just wish she can change, and trusted me in every single things that i wanna do. Just like what my dad did to me.
I wanna talk to her, but i don't know how, this matter makes my mood not good for a few days. Whenever saw her incoming call, my mood will drop.
Its not like i don't like to talk to her, but if she stops demanding me this and that, i will be happy for her call.
Can stop controlling me? Please?

ColdDay in Sdk

2009-05-17T14:14:00.002+08:00

Its cold today, because of whole night long rain
I wonder is it true that PJ is not going to rain for a few months?
I will miss the weather here, as well as the food
A few more days to go before i leave sandakan
That is also the day i ended my vacation
Wonder how will my life be in the future
It is still mystery, with no hints
Sigh~~Sigh~~Sigh~~

Today one of my buddies will come back to sandakan
Hope to meet up tomorrow or the day after tomorrow
Gals, miss u all so much

I wonder when will i come back here again?
Is it two years later again?
The life at that time will change
Totally, absolutely different from now
Life doesnt wait for people
Miss and Memorize whatever i had now

人生，蜡烛

2009-05-15T08:24:00.002+08:00

昨天看着手上点燃的蜡烛
突然对人生有所感叹
人生，就好比一根点燃的蜡烛
从我们一出生，蜡烛就开始燃烧
蜡烛的大小，就是我们生命的长短
参差不齐。。。
点燃的蜡烛，有时会被风所侵袭，
也就好比我们在人生中遇到挫折
风吹得越大，蜡烛的灯光就越微不足道，
也就好比人生遇到挫折时，无法振作起来
但是大风过后，恢复光芒的却不少，但也不缺已经熄灭的
也就像有些人遇挫折后，站立的站立，死亡的死亡
蜡烛上的光，虽然好微小，但在黑暗的空间里却能大量展现光芒
也就是人生的成就，在适当的时候就能大显身手
但有些蜡烛，则是靠其他蜡烛的光，才显得特别光
蜡烛，就是人生
我的蜡烛，是怎样的呢？
我的蜡烛，何时会被熄灭呢？
是燃烧到没了？还是烧到一半就灭了？
无论如何，燃烧中的我，一定要尽量展现光芒，才不愧于此生
[珍惜生命]

变化

2009-05-11T13:25:00.002+08:00

山打根的变化，真是令我惊讶不已
两年没到这的我，真想念以前的点点滴滴
变了，以前的我们，放学就去买萝卜糕，然后到他家吃
以前的我，四点以前就要到家，那时我妈妈放工的时间
以前的我们，想在街上走都要三思，怕遇见熟人
偷偷摸摸，变光明正大
现在的我们，买了萝卜糕，想吃到多少点就多少
光明正大手牵手在路上走
反而光明正大的我们，好像哪里都不想去，不想在街上走了

平时想多多的我，又在想些有的没的
明天他家人都回来，我会是多余的那个吗？
会没人理我吗？
我该做些什么呢？
他会陪我吗？
可以二十四小时跟着他吗？

失望

2009-05-10T11:42:00.000+08:00

我昨晚虔诚的祈祷，希望上帝给多一点时间
但是，让我失望了
一切好像有了预感似的
昨天整天心乱乱的
今天母亲节，为什么不等过了这一天呢？
看到他伤感的样子，我心痛不已
看他看着家里四周的样子
我好像抱着他
除了陪伴，我不知该做些什么了
希望在天之灵，能好好看着他
不要多问，也许就是帮忙了

时间

2009-05-09T23:20:00.000+08:00

现在的我看着时间一分一秒地过去
已经成功换机票，明天一早就到

心情很矛盾，很复杂
再加上他的心情沉重
他很开心，我能陪伴他
我终算做对了一个决定

母亲节到了
妈妈，对不起女儿不能在你身边庆祝
辛苦你了
我已经为未来打算了
有时间，我一定会回去探望你们

怎样能帮她留下美好的回忆呢？
花吗？可是花会凋谢
时间紧迫，要去哪里买呢？
上帝，可以给多一点时间吗？

迷失的小羊

2009-05-09T12:30:00.000+08:00

刚从云顶回来
当我正要享受快乐的假期时，却病倒了
心情欠佳，身体不舒适，脑子一片空白

此时此刻想着，要怎样才能帮到他
要怎样才能让他不害怕，不难过
我很想现在，现在就出现在他身边
虽然帮不上什么忙，但至少能在身边陪伴他

“ 我的前途，一片空白。。。”
“ 我的前途是一道直路，没有目的地。。。”
以上的话语都是来自身边的好友
那我呢？
其实没比你们好很多，我也是一只迷失的小羊
随着年纪的成长，我觉得我越想越多了
已经不再是年轻和喜欢刺激的我了
现在只希望，有份安稳的工作，疼我的人，就够了

云顶时刻，过得蛮充实和享受
谢谢你们，陪我度过三年的大学生涯
有什么冒犯到你们的，请多多原谅
我老了，也许好多活动都不想参加，希望你们能体谅
我老了，顾虑的东西也便多了，有时候乱想一通，对不起
我老了，你们的步伐我再也跟不上了，对不起
不过我会时时刻刻记着你们，每逢生日，我都会寄封简讯给你们
希望我也被记着，希望生日时收到你们的简讯
固执的我是不想改变现在的我
又是一句。。。对不起~

和你们相处的时间，我看清了自己是个怎样的人
谢谢你们，让我知道自己是谁
更让我知道我的缺点
有你们，就有一个快乐的我
谢谢你们的体谅，关心，教导
永远听到“一个像秋天，一个像夏天”就会想到你
接着就你们。。

人生必经生离死别，为什么要那么残忍？
心痛之余，无能为力
活着时，快乐吗？
希望你们快快乐乐的生活着。。

“友谊永固”

Mind is Wandering

2009-05-05T22:12:00.000+08:00

My mind keeps on wandering here and there although tomorrow will be my last paper.
Why i just can't concentrate on the last subject of my uni life?
Why am i just thinking about him?
Why??
I have to stop thinking...
Stop wandering...
Stop my mind from flying too far away [From Reality]
It's cruel, but i just have to do so...
Please ade, Please stop it now.

[Wondering if blog is used as self-talking place?]

I realised something, i need more times to rest after this, all alone~
But bundle of journey have been planned and i feel that i have no energy for all of them..
But i can't make my friends disappointed at me...
I am old, too old for days and days journey...
Just, too old for everything.
Forgive me if i ever said things that make ur mood down.

[Mind is wandering again....]

Next week this time i will be preparing for my next journey...
To Sandakan.
Oh gosh, i am damn selfish...
I actually look forward for that journey than the recent one.
Sorry again guys, for disappointing you all.
Am selfish...
Am exciting...
Am exciting because no longer lonely...
But the time is just limited to 1 week. T.T

[Mind is coming back to reality]

VLSI, my last subject...
Everyone is anxious and worried about it...
But not me, because i aimed C.
Hoho...
Back to studies...Bye

回忆

2009-05-05T00:18:00.000+08:00

“啊~~头很痛很痛很痛。。可不可以就这样算了？”

此时此刻的我好像真的已经在星期三之后了。（星期三是我大学期考的最后一科）

刚才喝着Dutchlady的coffeemilk，我的记忆就立即飞回Form5的时候。想当初，我每次的下课（为什么叫“下课”呢？）都买了一包coffeemilk。也不知道是从几时开始，我爱上了Dutchlady的coffeemilk；又不知道从几时开始，我停止喝这品牌的coffee。以前的小息时间是我们最开心的，因为我们的gang被分开两班，所以就趁这时候聚在一起，道长说短，开心的笑着，不知不觉半小时的时间就过了。

另一个开心的时刻，就是他们上account，而我们是free的时候。记得那时刚刚上映千金百分百--陈乔恩主演，佩亿就在那短短一小时，将完了故事情节，我的心中深深佩服她。哈哈~~雪雁和我听到入神，一小时就这么过去了。当然，我们也不是虚度每一次的一小时，我们还会温习功课的。

短短的五年中学时期，就这么结束了。那时的我们反而没像现在一样，心存感伤。可能是期望能往更高一层求知识吧~ 现在的我们，要制造的记忆，再也不是校园风景，或是成堆成群的朋友；是孤独自立的自己，还有常带面具相对的同事。（但情况往往都不会那么糟的）=P

佩云讲了一句让我深感赞同的话--十年后的今天，我们已经变陌生了。以前的无话不谈变成无话可说。好悲~很悲~很伤感。。为什么人一定要有分离呢？朋友，只可以是我们人生中的过客吗？在千千万万的人群里，只有一位会成为你的主角，是这样吗？

--十万个为什么现在就在脑里浮现--

部落格的诞生

2009-05-05T00:13:00.000+08:00

为什么要有这个部落格呢？
原本的friendsterblog已经被我banned了，原因是：有时不能upload本小姐的心声。
所以，就有了这个部落格。

大学时期即将结束了，想知道更多我的状况，就来到little-adeline-world “暗淡的空间”吧~ 虽然标题写着暗淡，但我依然会分享一些色彩的回忆的。。哈哈~~ 正符合我自相矛盾的性格。